Tuesday, 14 February 2017

valentines day

are you sleeping baby by yourself? or are you giving it to someone else.. valentines day can kiss my ass. you don't need a designated day to celebrate your love you really don't, it should be everyday. so, today i broke completely. my best friend and i 'fell out' if that's what you wanna call it and here i am with wet hair crying. why? we fell out 10 days ago when he said i just wanna be alone. since then i've tried my best to talk but he won't and today he blocked me. he frickin blocked me.  heartbreak, it comes in all kinds of ways. it doesn't have to be a crush kinda thing or a breakup, it can mean a lot of things. for me, it's losing someone who's alive. it's like losing a part of you, the good part of you. you'd never think you'd meet someone like them but you did. you thought only people like them would be in fairytales. in every fairytale it's a good ending. it breaks you in so many ways you don't even know what to do. you don't know and that's the reality. so many thoughts invade your mind and rack it completely. it's like your suddenly not happy with yourself, your only content when they're apart of you. you then start wishing you never met them, and then blame yourself for this horrible, stabbing pain that kills you. then the worst thing is regret. regretting telling them everything and trusting them and letting your guard down. why? you believe that those were the reasons they left. but the truth is, people come and go. the only person you'll have forever is yourself, without having them as your other half. but i know my worth and im better than that. im zaina, i don't cry over petty shit that i have no fault in. it's not my fault it's not my loss. he lost a friend who would do anything for him. the only thing i did wrong was thinking he'd stick around. so, moral of the story. know your fuxking worth and have no less. it's like chocolate, if you want a whole bar take a whole fuxking bar. -Zaina xx

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